Coffee... the resource that powered generations of working-class members. The potential impact of coffee on health has been the subject of extensive research, with findings indicating that moderate consumption is associated with a reduced likelihood of developing conditions such as depression, type 2 diabetes, and cancer. Whilst this impact has been the subject of extensive research, the impact of coffee on a smooth water surface has not yet been examined. This surprisingly large gap in research is addressed in this contribution. The application of the presented results is huge, with the potential to transform the prevailing paradigm concerning coffee. (No coffee was wasted; animals and the climate was harmed which was not compensated for)